Why Making Changes with Your Food Behaviors is SO. DAMN. DIFFICULT!

Human behavior isn’t compartmentalized.

That’s right.

The old adage of,

“How you do one thing is how you do everything.”,

really is true!

Especially when it comes to how you interact with food.

Some common examples:

• The woman who lacks boundaries & is afraid to use her voice allows others to dictate her food choices. This means listening to others (diets, “gurus”, doctors, family, etc.) over her own body & preferences. She likely uses food to numb/soothe too!

• The woman who needs to be liked by others & changes based on her surroundings eats & drinks what everyone else is eating & drinking.

• The woman who’s afraid to step outside of the box with how she lives her life (can’t stray from the predetermined plan!) is sticking to the foods & routines she knows & is comfortable with.

• The woman who believes she & her life are for others—not herself—is going to succumb to societal norms with food & body. Pleasing others is more important than being true to herself.

• The woman whose energy is scattered, is moving at 100 mph, and is constantly seeking the next thrill eats quickly & without presence. 

• The woman who is afraid of experiencing pleasure makes food choices that are often quite boring! She’s fearful of her own enjoyment.

There are endless possibilities here, but you can see that your relationship with food is a mirror for your relationship with SO MANY other facets of life!

Most importantly, your relationship with yourself.

Instead of *just* looking at food, how can you start to make adjustments with how you’re showing up in LIFE?

At first glance, this might seem like a much bigger mountain to climb, but it isn’t!

In fact, if you start focusing on your foundation (belief systems, relationship with self, relationship with life) rather than the surface, not only will the changes actually last, but they’ll be much easier to come by.

For today, just start with awareness. Start drawing those parallels between how you interact with food and the other areas of your life!

My Response to People Saying That More Freedom with Food Leads to Eating Donuts & Watching Netflix All Day

There's a common narrative today when it comes to a more "intuitive" way of eating (although I don't subscribe to "intuitive eating" in the way many do).

It usually goes something like this:

"Well, my intuition tells me to eat donuts and pizza and watch netflix every day, and it's what led me to gain weight in the first place."

I'm calling bullshit.

This way of thinking is just plain lazy.

It’s surface-level, and it’s why we find ourselves in this whole diet confused mess to begin with!

Why are so many people thinking this way?

Because they don’t want to look at WHY we eat the way we do.

At first glance, this approach is more difficult to practice, implement & coach (🙋🏻‍♀️), but that’s really only in the short-term.

Giving you numbers to hit and sending you on your merry way would make my job a HELL of a lot easier, but it wouldn’t change anything in any meaningful way.

It’s just the tip of the iceberg, when what you REALLY *need* (not want), is a complete transformation of your foundation!

💥A better understanding of your own preferences, goals, values, & body.

💥Exploration of what foods, habits & behaviors make you and your body come alive!

💥An individualized definition of health—you decide what that means.

💥Increased self-worth.

💥Stronger boundaries.

💥More tools to manage day-to-day stressors & emotions outside of food and controlling your body.

💥A realignment of your energy with your values (is your life truly fulfilling?).

💥Some damn respect for the vessel you’re experiencing life in.

Do these things take more time than following a set of macros or blindly adhering to a list of approved foods?

FUCK👏🏻 YES👏🏻

But these are the things that will make it so you don’t have to follow these things one year from now!

Stop being so willing to choose a “side” and turning your critical thinking skills off as a result.

You know SO much more than you think you do! You may just need some guidance on how to get there✨

Have a wonderful week, and remember that YOU are the one/thing/idea you've been waiting for!

If you don’t want to be standing in the exact same spot with food one year from now…

Then you have to stop seeking short-term gratification.

I know, I know—it feels so damn good (now) to watch the changes occur rapidly & to succumb to every whim!

But how has that worked for you thus far?

I’m guessing not well, or you wouldn’t be here😜

While *patience* may not be the sexiest word on the planet, it’s a HUGE sign of maturity. And it’s a requirement for a long-lasting, healthy relationship with food!

You have to be willing to sacrifice your desire for quick endorphin hits for deep & sustainable health—mentally & physically.

Make no mistake! If you’re consistently…

• Bouncing around from one extreme to the other (all-or-nothing)

• Obsessed with your tightly controlled & miserable routine.

• Eating a bunch of shit that doesn’t serve you all the time (YOLO)

• Refusing to look at your emotional state & are seeking escape.

• Focusing on your appearance at the expense of your mental & physical health…

You’re sacrificing your future self.

You’re letting your ego or monkey brain run the show instead of the real-mature-evolved-deeply-knowing you make the decisions.

What does patience (& maturity) look like?

• Developing a positive relationship with food BEFORE pursuing aesthetic goals.

• Learning skills to navigate discomfort outside of food, exercise & manipulating your body.

• Taking the time to understand WHY you interact with food & your body the way you do.

• Prioritizing physical health over aesthetic goals.

• Taking the time to learn about your own body, preferences, & goals rather than blindly following everyone else’s.

These outcomes are what everyone wants, but very few are willing to put in the work. To sacrifice child-like temptations (I get them too, big time!).

But I promise you—you’ll be SO DAMN HAPPY, PROUD, & EMPOWERED when you do!

Not Sure How to Tap Into Those Hunger & Fullness Cues Yet? You May Need This First!

Hunger and fullness cues often feel very elusive to every single one of my clients, and this is a huge source of frustration and confusion.

"How the hell do you expect me to listen to and trust my body if I don't have any clue what it's telling me?"

Fair question. Very fair!

This issue stems from overriding those hunger and fullness cues that you were once so familiar with as a child.

The good news? You absolutely had the ability to understand and listen to those cues at one point in your life, so it's just a matter of removing the diet layers to get back there!

It's possible, I promise.🙌

This is especially true if you have a history of:

• Going to extremes with an "all-or-nothing" approach—usually under-eating followed by bingeing

• Strictly following regimented eating times & quantities (often happens with tracking macros or following meal plans)

• Under-eating consistently—intentionally or unintentionally

• Eating a lot of processed foods, which can lead to blood sugar dysregulation

• Overeating most of the time.

As you can see, every person BUT a moderate, balanced, & instinctive eater falls into this category.😜

This means that YOU likely need to have some structure before you can fully rely on your hunger and fullness cues. It's very understandable, really, so don't beat yourself up!🙅🏻‍♀️

This structure often looks like:

• Eating every 3-4 hours

• Eating mostly unprocessed foods

• Balancing your day (or plate) with adequate protein, fat, carbs, and fiber

• Sleeping consistently with a routine

• Moving regularly while NOT overdoing it with exercise

• Managing stress, as it can cause hormones to get pretty whacky, leading to blood sugar issues & appetite changes.

No need to be obsessive about ANY of these, but the more you can consistently implement, the better.

As always, your motivation behind these choices matter more than the actions themselves!💕

5 Ways Science Reduced My Food Obsession

With the big cahuna at the end!

You see, I spent years & years of my life blindly following diet trends and believe anything I heard. 

This was the result of pure desperation, and it’s a common place to be!

It’s a dangerous one too, because we lose sight of the long game.

What were the biggest lies (that many still believe)?

1. Can’t gain fat without carbs—You mean I spent YEARS of my life obsessively manipulating my carb intake for absolutely no reason? Yep. Optimal levels vary depending on size, activity level, gender, hormonal function, etc., but they don’t inherently lead to fat gain or ill health. In fact, my well-being greatly improved once increased, as is the case with many clients.

2. Eat lots of fat to burn lots of fat—another aspect of the Atkins, low-carb era, and we’re seeing this again with the prevalence of keto. Fat is the most calorically dense of all macros, so they add up quickly. Necessary for optimal function, but they don’t have magical fat-burning properties. If you’re free-basing butter & coconut oil without expected results, you’re not broken. This idea is.

3. Sugar is addictive—do you stand in the kitchen and drool over a bag of sugar? Don’t think so. Sugar is, however, mostly found in processed foods that combine sugar, salt, and fat—a HIGHLY palatable combo. It’s not the sugar prompting you to overeat.

4. Eat several meals per day to increase the metabolism—I still hear this one a LOT, which is the opposite end of the “intermittent fasting” extreme. Eat when you want & in a way that works for your body and lifestyle.

5. Calories don’t count—this is one of the most problematic. You know I’m not a huge fan of counting calories or macros, but this idea is important. They absolutely DO count, and ignoring this concept will lead to a lot of frustration. This should be liberating, not restrictive, as it simplifies everything!

Our intuition will naturally lead us to understanding these concepts, but a period of “un-learning” is required.

We fall into these traps when we try to out-think our bodies--Mother Nature wins every time.

Which one did/do you believe?

Should You Be Tracking Your Food?

For the vast majority of women, I don't believe in tracking food.

Unless you’re using tracking coupled with a:

✔️Strong sense of self-worth & self-respect outside of your body (i.e. you’re not trying to hate yourself to change)

✔️Commitment to your body’s health over aesthetic goals.

✔️Commitment to your mental health over aesthetic goals.

✔️Solid understanding of your body’s biofeedback (digestion, hunger/fullness cues, menstrual cycle, sleep, performance in the gym, cravings, mood) and are attuned to these the ENTIRE time.

It’s not a good idea.

All of these should be met prior, and the reality is that most women just aren’t there!🥴

No shame in that either, as we’re bred by society to mistrust & hate our bodies. #yourenotalone

If you begin tracking your food without trust as the foundation, what do you think the result is going to be after the fact?

I don’t even want to know what it would take to calculate/track this meal! It would ruin my ability to tune into myself, though. That’s for sure.

That’s right!

A total shit storm of mistrust.

This only furthers the cycle of not understanding your body & ignoring it.

Not to mention, who the fuck wants to spend their time entering food into an app for the rest of their lives?

I sure as hell don't, and I know most of you don't either.

If you’re a performance athlete and/or meet the criteria above, go for it! With a knowledgeable coach.

Otherwise, it’s not only unnecessary, but it could be incredibly detrimental to your overall well-being.🏻‍♀️

I’m curious, what is your history with tracking? Love it or hate it?

Do you only allow yourself to pee at specific times?

Or take a 💩 according to your clock?

I would assume (and hope) not!

Yet, we do this with another one of our basic physical needs all the time—eating.

• Forcing down food according to meals plans and tracking apps.

• Forcing our bodies to endure extreme hunger until it’s “time” to eat again.

• Forcing our bodies to go to attempt to sleep while hungry, simply because our allotment for the day is up and it’s “past 8pm”.

We’ve managed to fuck up one of the most basic instincts we have as human beings!

It’s really not your fault though, as the vast majority of us were programmed to micromanage our food intake, appetites, and pleasure from a young age.

We watched older women complain about their bodies and restrict as a result.

We observed as others hopped from diet to diet, proclaiming foods as good and bad, right and wrong.

We were bombarded by magazines and latest celebrity diets as they dictated how often we should eat (is it six meals per day or should I intermittent fast?)

Oftentimes, we believe the path to freedom and healing from food obsession & disordered eating is to apply even more rules.

In most cases, it’s not. Far from it!

The answer is to get back to basics.

• To focus on recognizing those old thought patterns as they come and go while consciously choosing to rely on your body’s instincts instead (meditation for the win).

• To get back in touch with your own body’s hunger & fullness cues.

• To eat foods that make your body & mind feel alive, while also adding in foods that make your soul happy.

• To ensure you’re taking care of your mental & emotional well-being just as much as your physical.

When we break it down, it’s much more simple than we make it out to be.

We simply need to get out of our body’s way❤️