Carbohydrates - Do You Need to Eat More?

Oatmeal is now a mainstay in my diet, particularly before workouts!

I fully believe in releasing neurotic behaviors and thought patterns around nutrition and our diets in order to live at ease in our bodies and fulfill our potential in life, and this often includes paying attention to and/or counting macronutrients (fats, carbs, proteins). However, when working to overcome food and body obsessions, it can be incredibly frustrating to still feel physically unwell despite our best efforts to feel otherwise.

Feeling well physically lends itself to so much more ease around food, as we feel synergistic with our bodies. It reinforces the notion that we’re working in tandem, and it’s incredibly empowering too.

As I worked to overcome my own food and body obsessions, I continued to feel physically unwell despite my best efforts to eat a nourishing diet and listen to my body. I didn’t realize that I was still subscribing to the dogmatic, low-carb approach I was exposed to ten years prior, and my body and mind were paying the price.  While I wanted to pay LESS attention to my diet, I realized I had to pay more attention to my carbohydrate intake.

I was exposed the concept of eating a low carb diet in high school when my parents’ personal trainer told us about the latest and greatest way to shed weight quickly. I had zero concept of nutrition at this point, and he was in a position of authority, so I blindly listened to his advice. Per his recommendation, I was to eat no more than 15 grams of carbs per meal and to eat every 3-4 hours, which typically led to 4-5 meals and 60-75 grams of carbs per day.

During this time, I was also attending group fitness classes at his gym with my family and a few family friends, and all classes were high-intensity in nature. Classes typically included sprints on the rower, jump squats and lunges, battle ropes, kettlebell swings, ball slams, etc. We moved quickly from one movement to the next and had minimal rest, so my heartrate was spiked during the majority of the 30-minute classes.

What were the results of this low-carb diet coupled with a high-intensity exercise regimen?

I lost 10-15 pounds over the course of six months, stopped getting my period completely, experienced severe moodiness, dry skin, brittle nails, poor digestion, awful sleep, an inability to sit down to a meal without overanalyzing its carbohydrate content, and an obsession with completing high-intensity exercise every single day. My ease around food vanished the minute I began this low carbohydrate way of eating.

A few things I didn’t know at the time:

• High-intensity exercise requires glycogen. Our bodies convert the glucose from carbohydrates into glycogen, and this is then stored in the liver or muscles if not immediately utilized.
• Carbohydrates are important to the development of strength and muscle growth.
• A diet too low in carbohydrates can disrupt and/or slow digestion.
• Females tend to be more sensitive to decreased carbohydrate intake, and our hormones often respond in kind. I.e. our periods become irregular or stop completely, as was the case for me.
• A diet too low in carbohydrates can lead to brittle nails, dry skin, poor sleep, and moodiness. I literally turned into a different (often terrible) human-being with zero patience and a short temper, and I had difficulty falling and staying asleep.
• Calories in vs. calories out leads to fat loss. Gary Taubes’ book “Good Calories, Bad Calories” had recently been released, and this touted the notion that calories don’t actually matter for fat loss, which I now know to be false. Macronutrients (carbs, protein, fat) do affect our bodies differently due to a variety of factors, but calories reign supreme in the end when it comes to fat loss.
• Carbohydrates hold water in the body. For every 1g of carbohydrates consumed, the body tends to retain approximately 3g of water. Conversely, reducing carbohydrates in one’s diet leads to a decrease in water retention. As a result, those following a low-carb diet often experience rapid weight loss due to the loss of water.  Which leads me to my next point
• Weight loss does not equal fat loss. It’s common to see the scale drop 5+ lbs. in one week for those new to a low-carb diet, and this is largely due to losing water. For many, this is the incentive they need to continue pushing forward, as they’re under the false impression that all of it is fat. Losing more than 1% of your body weight per week increases the likelihood of losing muscle, so this wouldn’t be an ideal situation anyways.
• Greatly reducing or eliminating one macronutrient often leads to demonizing certain foods and a poor relationship comprised of fear, resentment, and guilt.

It took hours, days, and months of reflection, researching, and experimentation to discover and finally believe that carbohydrates are not the root of all evil for our body composition or health.

I was finally fed up with my fear of carbs and subsequent guilt after eating them, my poor and declining performance in Crossfit, brain fog, low energy, brittle nails, and a missing period, so I decided to start adding carbohydrates back into my diet. I was TERRIFIED of what the results would be, largely due to my fear of gaining weight, but my declining health, poor quality of life, and my tumultuous relationship with food eventually became more cumbersome than the idea of adding some weight to my frame.

During this time, my diet was based on the popular Paleo templates of vegetables, meat, and additional fats. My breakfast usually consisted of eggs, bacon, and greens; my lunch and dinners included vegetables, fatty cuts of meat, and often additional fats like avocado, butter, or nut butter. I enjoyed the occasional sweet potato with dinner, but that was the extent of my carbohydrate intake.

I started adding a small serving of carbohydrates to each meal, such as a cupped handful of rice, potatoes, or sweet potato. I enjoyed oatmeal before my workouts, and I often had a post-workout smoothie that included fruits. I was eating more carbohydrates than I had been in ten years, and the rest of my diet remained fairly consistent.

The Results

Within a few weeks I had gained 5 pounds, and I stopped stepping on the scale after that point. I began to mull over the potential reasons for the weight gain. Was it water weight? Was I actually gaining fat? Would it stop or would it continue? I didn’t know the answers at the time, but I kept trucking along in hopes that my body and weight would stabilize.

My fear and guilt around carbs had also lessened significantly by this point, and I wasn’t willing to give up my newfound ease around these foods for the sake of the scale. However, I knew in the back of my mind that there would be a tipping point for my weight gain, and I would likely adjust my diet again if my weight crept up to a point where I was no longer comfortable. I didn’t place a number on this, but the sentiment was lurking in the back of my mind. Still, I continued with my experiment.

While I still didn’t step on the scale again until a year later, my weight eventually stabilized around three months later as evidenced by the way my clothes fit. I would estimate a total weight gain of ten pounds. Some of this was water, and some of it was fat.

Six months after my initial increase in carbs, my period returned after being absent for two years. This was a HUGE win for me, and I decided in that moment that I would never return to a low-carb way of eating again (barring health conditions that warrant this protocol).

As a long-time sufferer of digestive issues, I wasn’t surprised by the bloating I experienced when adding in the carbohydrates. However, this subsided within a few months, and I was utterly shocked by the overall improvement in my digestion after the initial adjustment period. I was no longer experiencing nightly bloating and frequent constipation.

In the gym, I started adding weight to my lifts rather quickly, and this came after I had remained stagnant for many months. I was working hard previously, so it wasn’t for lack of effort, but I simply wasn’t providing my body with the fuel it needed to get through high-intensity CrossFit workouts or build strength. I was able to make it through difficult workouts much more easily with the addition of my new friends, and I got my first pull-up within two months of increasing my carbohydrate intake.

I was finally able to fall asleep quickly and stay asleep throughout the night. Today, shitty sleep is an early sign for me that my carbohydrate intake has dipped too low.

My mood became much more consistent, and that means consistently positive, motivated, and patient. My brain fog began to dissipate, and my nails stopped peeling and got stronger.

Some of these improvements may be attributable to an overall increase in calories.  I can’t say with any certainty due to the lack of data I have from these points in time, as I wasn’t tracking my carbohydrate or overall calorie intake. However, with many of my clients, an increase in carbohydrates with a net-neutral effect on calories has resulted in the same improvements.  This is purely anecdotal though.

As always, nuance and context are very important when it comes to nutrition. For some, a decrease in carbohydrates will be beneficial, whereas an increase might be the key to improving someone’s health and well-being, as was the case for me.

Stay tuned for Part II where I discuss how I recommend increasing carbohydrate intake with my clients, nuanced recommendations, and what I would have done differently myself!

Sleepwalking Through Life? Your Body May Be a Byproduct

Sleepwalking through life is SUCH a common method of existence these days. We put our heads down as we make our way to work, maybe finding ourselves in a job we don’t enjoy, simply because we started on a track long ago based on what we were advised to do.  We study what “they” tell us makes the most sense, we get the practical job, and we follow the cadence of life in the way society deems appropriate.

These may be very authentic and conscious decisions for some, but they can be rather disingenuous for many. As was the case for me.

Many of us aren’t taught to challenge the status quo, to take the road less traveled, to pave our own way, to live a life based on our own rules. We’re taught to put our heads down, to take the “safe” route, and to be grateful for the opportunity to do so. I’m a big believer in gratitude, but we can be grateful for what we have while working towards what we want.

The irony of the safe route is that while it’s dressed in comfort, ease, and acceptance, it may very well be the most dangerous thing we can do. A little piece of us dies while we continue along our journeys of sleepwalking, only to wake up one day and realize that life is simply passing us by. We’ve become bystanders rather than active participants in life.

I was sleepwalking through most of my life, up until I had a brief yet memorable moment on my college campus at the age of twenty-two. As I was walking to class, I was awe struck by the beauty and majestic nature of a large tree. The length of time it took for that tree to grow, the number of people who had previously walked past it, the decades of time it had witnessed. These are some of the thoughts that rushed through my mind during that brief moment in time, and for the first time that I was able to recall, I came out of my daze.

Coincidentally (or not), I stumbled across meditation via Eckhart Tolle shortly after this incident, and my life was forever changed. While there are certainly still times of sleepwalking in my daily life today, I was shaken awake that day and the seed was planted.

As my journey of meditation, self-awareness, and personal growth continued, I noticed that my state of sleepwalking, my love for myself and my body, and my obsession with food all moved in tandem. With sleepwalking came mindless eating, binge drinking, speaking negatively about myself, talking badly of others, and numbing feelings and emotions with food. It also came with adopting opinions that weren’t my own, a lack of boundaries with others, and playing it safe with my career.

The more I focused on increasing my awareness and “waking up”, the more I ate according to hunger signals, identified negative thought patterns and replaced them with loving ones, stopped drinking alcohol in amounts I knew would be harmful to my physical or emotional well-being, started treating others in alignment with my values, and began working towards the woman I knew I really was underneath the layers.

Waking up led to greater alignment with my body, in addition to the energy around me. I stopped fighting what is and started working with it. 

Developing the skill of connecting with our internal landscape in silence is necessary, as it forces us to pick our heads up pay attention to where we are or are not playing active role in life.  My favorite way to ensure I’m staying plugged in and am mitigating instances of sleepwalking is through daily meditation, and I recently reincorporated journaling into my daily morning routine. 

Our relationships with ourselves, others, our bodies, and food will always be moving in tandem with our levels of presence and awareness. Start putting your focus on your daily practice of awakening from the slumber you may find yourself in, as so many of us do, and build a stable foundation of connection to yourself and your body. You’ll likely find your food and body obsessions will naturally begin to dissipate.

Let's Be our Own Ideal

All bodies are different and we’re not made to look the same - what a revelation this was for me. I was caught up in chasing an ideal body for almost a decade, and throughout that time I fully subscribed to the notion that there is only one way to be, look, or show up as a woman. And if I wasn’t emulating that ideal, I just needed to work harder.

Society has painted a lovely picture regarding the “ideal” female body. It’s tall, but not too tall. Thin and lean with muscle, yet not too much muscle (god forbid we look manly or bulky).  Tanned, yet not too dark, and definitely not too pale. Thin yet also curvy at the same time, lest we risk looking like a boy. This perfect body has flawless skin and thick, long hair, yet this only applies to the hair on our heads and eyebrows. Otherwise, hairless.

These are just the physical attributes, let alone how we’re expected to behave and present ourselves.

The interesting thing about this ideal is that it’s ever-changing.  For a few decades, Twiggy and Victoria Beckham had the ideal bodies with their waif-like figures, and the current trend is having a “toned” and curvy body with a small waist and noticeable ass. Being thin is not enough; we have to have muscle too.

The bodies so many of us spend our time chasing are trends. Similar to hair or fashion trends, body trends come and go. Yet despite the transient nature of these ideals, we chase them in hopes of validating our worth.

But what happens when that trend shifts or disappears entirely? Does our self-worth go out the window along with it?  Marilyn Monroe was once revered as the sexiest woman on the planet, but a decade later during the Twiggy era, she likely would have been considered overweight. And Twiggy’s waif-like figure would likely be deemed too skinny by today’s standards. She’d be pressured to pack on some muscle because “strong is the new skinny”, right?

What if, instead of trying to mold ourselves into these fleeting and superficial ideals, we simply focused on our own bodies. Our bodies that are amazingly unique in so many ways. Bodies that fluctuate and inhabit various levels of body fat and muscle, both in comparison to others and to previous versions of ourselves. What if we understood and accepted that we aren’t in fact designed to look the same?

The pressure would be off, and we would be able to focus on what works for our lifestyles, our priorities, our goals, and most importantly, what works for and with our own bodies. We would no longer be chasing what our neighbor, sister, best friend, or the hottest celebrity has. We would be in our own lanes, focusing on our own unique lives and bodies, with the understanding that replicating someone else is literally impossible.

I spent so many years of my life wishing I was just a few inches shorter due to being taller than almost everyone growing up, meaning I actually wished I inhabited another body. While I now love my 5’ 10.5” height, it took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that this physical attribute of mine is never changing. Ever. So why would I waste another minute of my life worrying about it?

Now that I have made peace with my body (most days), I don’t ask her to be anything other than what she is. I wouldn’t dare ask that of anyone I love, so why would I do that to the vessel that will carry me through this life? Especially after all of the shit I have put her through?

A funny thing happened when I finally decided to be on the same team as my body, and I actually talk to her as if she is one. I began to celebrate my body’s unique qualities, started to celebrate the differences in others, and I reveled in the fact that we’re all amazingly different.

During the times when I notice physical attributes on other women that I wish were my own, I bring my attention back to my own body; my home. I remember that I get to define my own ideal, and it’s the body I already have.

At the end of the day, we have two choices: to spend our days chasing something we’ll never have and that wasn’t ever meant to be ours in the first place, or we can choose to double down on ourselves and be our own ideal.

What Travel Has Taught Me about Food, Exercise, and My Relationship with My Body

I'm not typically a fruit person, but that was often the only option in El Salvador. Gotta go with the flow!

I returned from El Salvador a few days ago, and as is often typical for me when traveling, I learned more about my relationships with food and fitness. In addition, many of the lightbulb moments I experienced during my backpacking travels and while living at home with my parents a few years ago were reinforced.

When I was backpacking in Southeast Asia four years ago and while living with my parents for the summer after I graduated college, I wasn’t focused on losing fat or gaining muscle. I was determined to learn how to listen to my body, to enjoy the local cuisines, to workout to move my body when it called for it and for some alone time, and most notably, to do some serious inside work.

I wanted to improve my damaged relationship with food, and I realized that the extreme manipulation of my intake by way of restricting carbs wasn’t working. Rather, I decided to attempt to eat based on fullness and hunger cues and to understand what my body was asking for in the moment (I say “attempt” because learning to tap into this was difficult after ignoring my body for so long, so I knew it would take time); all while working to create a balance of making my body and mind feel good while participating in life. And amazing food is a very enjoyable part of life for me.

I was purely focused on my behaviors, mindset, and learning to finally connect with my body; not physical outcomes.

In Southeast Asia, most of the local cuisines are dominated by vegetables and white rice with scant amounts of meat, coconut milk (hello, curry), and the occasional baked good. I was on a serious budget, so we didn’t often partake in Western foods, and most of my diet consisted of fresh, unprocessed foods during those three months.  I definitely missed my meat at almost every meal that I was accustomed to, and I was eating far more carbohydrates than I was used to with less fat. Essentially, my diet was the opposite of the low-carb, paleo diet I had been adhering to for a few years.

A similar situation had occurred right after I graduated college and moved home to New Mexico to live with my parents before starting my full-time job in Denver. I participated in walking and yoga instead of HIIT workouts, I only started to eat when hungry and stop when satisfied, and I ate what sounded appealing to my body instead of my mind. Mind you, that was often whole and unprocessed foods, but I didn’t restrict myself if I really wanted something.

I didn’t expect my body to respond the way it did during either of these times in my life. I was incredibly perplexed by how I was able to lose weight without consciously trying to do so.

After returning from Asia, I reflected on what was different during both of these times in my life, and I tried connect the dots. How was I able to lose weight in such a calm and stress-free way and without even trying?

1.     Natural Eating Behaviors Based on Body Cues: I focused on eating behaviors; those we’re naturally inclined to emulate when we’re tuned in and listening to our bodies. This included honoring hunger cues, stopping when satisfied and “energized” (rather than full and lethargic), and eating foods that made me feel well both mentally and physically the majority of the time. No food was off limits though, with the exception of dairy due to my intolerance, and I worked with what was available to me at the time. I didn’t follow any food rules; the only goal was to tune into what my body was saying and follow through with the best of my ability at the time.

I want to emphasize that this was very much a learning process, and it’s one that I still have to revert back to when my eating behaviors become chaotic. There are still times when I eat out of boredom rather than hunger or overeat, and during my time in Asia, the food was often so delicious that I ate beyond the point of satisfaction. The major takeaway is that these were exceptions rather than my consistent behaviors, and I simply moved on after it happened.

2.     Not Having a “YOLO” Mentality: The more common definition of “you only live once”, anyway. It’s so easy to dive head-first into the YOLO mentality, which for many means going balls-to-the-wall with all food and drink. My definition is different. Yes, I only live once, so my goal was to learn how to enjoy the foods I want while also feeling great and not stressing about food. I wanted to learn to live my life to the fullest, which meant reducing food and body stress as much as possible.

Furthermore, I don’t want to spend my life feeling lethargic, overly full, hungry, nor deprived. So a balanced approach was best for my priorities and goals. Eating healthy foods that make us feel great most of the time doesn’t make us bores, and it certainly doesn’t mean we’re not living life to the fullest. In many cases, it can mean the exact opposite. However, there’s a fine line between subscribing to neurotic and controlling food regimens under the guise of “clean eating” and actually listening to what our bodies are asking for.

3.     Less Alcohol, but This Doesn’t Have to Mean None: I was also working on my relationship with my extreme drinking habits during these times in my life. I never had the intention of removing alcohol completely, and I still don’t! I love myself some red wine and a marg. But these times consisted of far less alcohol than I was consuming previously, and in doing so, my sleep was better, which led to decisions that were more closely aligned with my body’s signals. I find it to be rather difficult to listen to my body with a hangover or while drunk – anyone else? Of course, this led to fewer calories being consumed too.

I rarely drank alcohol while in Asia, but I had a glass of wine almost every night when living at home with my parents. This illustrated that there isn’t just one ideal approach or diet, and there’s a lot more flexibility in preferences than any “plan” out there will lead you to believe. I can actually make my own rules? Mind. Blown.

4.     More Movement, Less Exercise: I love intense exercise. Like really, really love it. I find it to be a lot of fun, a great mental and physical outlet, and an avenue for personal growth due to the challenge. But I really slowed down during these times. While at home with my parents, I only partook in walking the dogs and mellow yoga classes. While in Asia, I walked a LOT while exploring the city, and I sprinkled a few body weight and short jogs in throughout my weeks. In both scenarios, I also enjoyed many days of being mostly sedentary.

This was a big change for me, and I really had to practice relinquishing control over my intense exercise habits. I noticed my body feeling so much more at ease, less stressed, and my hunger signals were eventually more consistent and clear. It became evident to me that my body loses fat much more easily when I’m partaking in low-stress movement over intense exercise while coupled with a caloric intake that will facilitate weight loss (i.e. consuming fewer calories than I’m expending). Note that my caloric deficits were unintentional at the time, hence my confusion with the weight loss.

Intense exercise is still a huge love of mine, but I don’t do much of it if I’m wanting to get back in touch with my body, have poignant stress elsewhere in my life, my body starts showing signs of hormone imbalance, or if I’m wanting to lose some fat. These times taught me that we don’t have to do the same kind of movement or exercise all the time, and our bodies may actually flourish with the ebbs and flows.

5.     Calories Matter, and I Can Eat All Foods: After subscribing to a low carbohydrate diet for almost a decade (when I wasn’t drunk or hungover), it was very powerful for me to experience fat loss while consuming diets with low protein, higher carbs, and medium-range fat intake. While these amounts are relative, and I wasn’t counting anything during these times, the point is that these times jolted me out of my dogmatic approach to macronutrients.

I had previously believed that carbs were the devil and the source of all fat gain, so gaining first-hand experience with the opposite being true was mind-blowing. It shed light on the truth I so sternly fought before: calories really do matter for fat loss. I started to reconsider other dogmatic approaches to health, diet, and fitness I was subscribing to. I still surprise myself to this day by uncovering something I blindly accepted as truth!  We need to question our biases always.

6.     Habitual and Emotional Relationships to Food: When I was in Asia, I became aware of my attachment to wine and dark chocolate. I didn’t need either of them, but they were readily available previously, so I often didn’t give my consumption a second thought. When living at home with my parents, I became much more aware of my excessive drinking habits from college.

Whenever I travel, I notice new emotional or habitual relationships with food or exercise I wasn’t aware of previously. My habits with foods are always changing in response to my ever-changing priorities and lifestyle, and it’s easy for me to start functioning on autopilot when I’m consistently in the same routine or environment. While all of these habits are fine to have, it’s important to ensure I’m participating in them consciously.

7.     Mindfulness Is King: this was my primary focus during both of these periods in my life, and without developing the skills to get in touch with my body and mind through meditation and journaling, I wouldn’t have been able to lose weight or learn anything as a result. Without mindfulness, I wouldn’t have been able to bring awareness to my habit of overeating, my propensity for eating out of boredom, how to tap into what my body was craving, feeling whether or not my body needed movement, exercise, or rest, and what foods/drinks I had emotional connections to.

None of these are negative in a vacuum, but I was operating in a mode of “sleepwalking” most of the time, so bringing awareness into the picture changed many of my nutrition and fitness habits inadvertently. It forced me to consciously interact with my body, and if I was overriding any signals, I was doing so in full awareness.  

My recent travel excursion to El Salvador reinforced these lightbulb moments I had years ago, yet I learned something new during this trip, too. This trip highlighted my habitual consumption of coffee and dark chocolate. These very much fit into my current personalized eating framework, my Balanced Baseline, but it’s always useful to assess and be aware of my relationships with various habits, foods, drinks, and exercise habits. Do I really want the coffee and dark chocolate, or are they items I mindlessly consume out of habit?  Results: I really want themJ

Travel can be an extreme source of food and exercise anxiety for many, as it used to be for me. But it really doesn’t have to be that way! Rather, I recommend using these times of being out of our routines as opportunities to observe tendencies to grasp for control and to bring awareness to our relationships with our nutrition and exercise habits.

I want to highlight that I had to experience many of these concepts twice for them to begin to stick. I lived at home with my parents in 2011, and I backpacked in 2014, so there were a few years of pushing everything I had originally learned into the back of my mind. Looking back on those times, I really wasn’t ready to make the changes in 2011 due to conflicting priorities. And that’s ok! Partying and socializing were my focus, and I had to navigate and better understand various other aspects of my life before committing to tackling my relationships to food and my body. I have also neglected or ignored these concepts many times since I brought them to light in 2014.

Undoing years of food and body negativity and stress isn’t accomplished overnight, and it can even take years (as was the case for me). This is all a journey, and it’s one that is never-ending. If there is one thing you take away from this post, please don’t beat yourself up for not being where you want to be.  One step at a time, when it feels right for you, and when you’re truly ready.

It’s worth mentioning that I consider “travel” different from “vacation” most of the time. For me, travel is focused on obtaining a cultural experience, and I’m often on the move to explore the particular location. Vacation, however, is more focused on relaxation or spending time with a particular group of people. For example, visiting my family during the holidays, going to a friend’s bachelorette party, or going to the beach for a few days with the expectation of being relatively sedentary and enjoying a few more cocktails are what I consider vacation. I still strongly advocate for awareness in the context of a vacation, but the priorities may be different.

We Don't Come with Ala Carte Options

When most of us look at another person, we don’t assess each minute detail of their body, or even take note of each body part individually. Unless we’re obsessed with assessing those things in ourselves and are projecting. But more often than not, we see others as whole, physical human beings.

Comments about my face, shoulders, ass, stomach, cellulite, and more all affect how I see myself in this photo. But it's really difficult to be in tune with a body when we're spending so much time berating it.

Yet when we look at ourselves, we can judge each body part separately due to distinct definitions established by society. There’s a six-pack or flat stomach with a small waist, an ass that isn’t too small yet also doesn’t have any cellulite, arms that are “toned” but not too muscular, thick hair, flawless skin, not too short yet not too tall. The list goes on and on for women, even down our eyebrows. But who is actually born with all of these features combined? Uh, no one.

Ideal preferences for each of these will usually vary depending on our social environment, culture, and personal background, but the key item to note is that these are largely dictated by external influence. And they don’t take into account the fact that we’re whole beings who don’t come with ala carte options.

With all of these separate yet distinct definitions of what our bodies should be, it’s no wonder the quest for perfection never ends for many women. We “perfect” one body part and are then we’re onto the next. It’s an endless rabbit hole that results in complete discontentment. Not to mention everyone looking the same.

To start unraveling the incessant critique of our bodies, start with less time in front of the mirror.  Limit yourself to necessities (these will vary for each person, so be honest with yourself here), and you’ll likely notice yourself paying less attention to the minutiae of your body. After all, you can’t pick apart something you’re not keenly aware of. What good does standing in front of the mirror overanalyzing do anyways?  This may mean fewer selfies, which is also a great idea during this stage (and in general, IMO).

When learning to overcome my obsession, I limited my “mirror time” to makeup, doing my hair (which seldom happens these days), and doing a quick outfit check.  Any more time spent and my brain would start to pick my body apart.  After a few months of this practice, I was able to stand in front of the mirror and start to see my body for what it is: a body. And one that is ever-changing.

Being the human that I am, there are definitely still times when I stand in front of a mirror and notice these perceived imperfections. Which is natural and common, and we would be kidding ourselves if we thought that wouldn’t happen.  And I believe it can do more damage to assume we won't have those thoughts again.  In response, I do my best to catch myself in the moment, call myself out for this critical behavior (we would NEVER do this to anyone but ourselves), show myself compassion, and walk away.

I haven’t found self-love mantras to be helpful in these situations. Going from hating a body part to loving it is a bit of a stretch, though not entirely out of the question. But I can acknowledge these parts of my body, bring awareness to my petty inner critic (my ego), respond to myself with some understanding (criticizing myself for being critical doesn't solve anything), and choose to move on and to direct my energy and attention to more important matters.

The critical dissection of our bodies is a sneaky little distraction of what’s really calling for our attention. Give yourself fewer opportunities to over-analyze your body and show yourself the same courtesy you bestow upon others: the ability to be seen as whole.

Navigating Food Intolerances with a Healthy Mindset

Loved me a few bites of the biscuit and a slice of this sourdough bread - all gluten-filled!

Food intolerances and food allergies are real for many people, yet there is also a fair amount of hype about the dangers of certain foods that have caused many us to be unnecessarily afraid of them. Gluten and dairy tend to be the most popular, especially amongst the paleo crowd (of which I used to be a dedicated member). The purpose of this post isn’t to discuss whether or not someone should or shouldn’t be eating those foods, as I fully believe that another person’s diet is none of my business. Or yours. Not to mention that there are some very real and serious health conditions that warrant such restrictions.  My only suggestion is that we all use some critical thinking and step outside of some (perhaps) dogmatic ways of thinking to consider whether or not these foods actually do affect us negatively, and if they do, how we still maintain a non-obsessive or restrictive relationship with food.

Like many, I’m still in the process of determining my threshold for certain foods, and while it used to be a source of great frustration, I now understand and accept that my body is ever-changing and will always be in a state of flux. That doesn’t just stop at its appearance, as it most certainly includes internal processes too. Most notably digestion for me and many others.

I was diagnosed with lactose intolerance when I was 22 years old after completing the Lactose Intolerance Test and Hydrogen Breath Test explained here, and it was quite a relief to know that my physical discomfort wasn’t just a product of my mind.

Gluten, on the other hand, has been a different story. Celiac disease is present on both sides of my family, but due to my former low-carb ways, I never ate much gluten inadvertently. In order to accurately test for gluten intolerance, you have to be eating a decent amount of it, so the tests weren’t going to be productive nor accurate for me. As a result, I did a strict elimination diet and reintroduced gluten into my diet to determine whether or not I had any negative reactions.

I was still very much engrained in my obsessive and restrictive ways of thinking at the time of this elimination diet, so I believe I convinced myself that I was having negative reactions when I may not have been. The placebo effect in action!  I’m still playing around with adding gluten back into my diet (this time with an open mind) and assessing its effects, and I’m realizing that it’s largely dose dependent as opposed to an overall intolerance.

For example, if I have more than 1-2 slices of sourdough bread then I don’t feel well, but I feel just fine with a slice of quality bread. Is this due to the gluten, or simply due to having processed foods that I don’t usually consume?  I can’t be sure, but it’s worth considering both scenarios.

I have also realized that I tolerate foods that are lower in wheat as opposed to just gluten.  I know for certain that when I drink a wheat beer, I’m unable to breathe normally through my nose and am stuffed up for several hours. However, if I have a few bites of gluten-filled dessert, drink a Guinness, or enjoy other reasonable servings of gluten, I don’t notice a reaction.

While these differences may seem small and meaningless to some, for those of us who have struggled with orthorexia (obsession with healthy eating) or any form of disordered eating, it’s important to be honest with ourselves about why we make the choices we do. Some questions to ask ourselves:

Am I still afraid of foods based on a narrative I inherited long ago? (i.e. someone told me it’s bad and I shouldn’t eat it, so I blindly listened and acted accordingly.)

Do I genuinely not feel well when I eat this food?

Can I adjust the serving size of the food to see if the reaction is dose dependent?

Am I avoiding this food under the guise of an intolerance, when it’s actually another method of restriction?

Is it possible that I’m creating a physical reaction in my head (i.e. placebo effect) and can change my experience by viewing this food differently?

These are all important questions to ask ourselves, and honesty in our answers is even more important. It’s quite liberating to question what we’ve always thought to be true and find our own answers.  For many, slowly eliminating these food rules we’ve established for ourselves as a method of control can be terrifying. But once we start to make these decisions for ourselves instead of outsourcing them, our trust and confidence in ourselves will continue to grow.

Think of it as a snowball effect. You make one choice that differs from your previously held beliefs or control mechanisms, realize you’re OK and may actually be better off, you subsequently build more trust in yourself and your instincts, and you then feel more comfortable challenging other assumptions.  This doesn’t just stop at our diets, either.

After doing an honest assessment with yourself, if you determine that you’d still rather stay away from a specific food, then rock on with your bad self. And if you do in fact feel physical reactions from gluten, dairy, or any other food, then it’s important to acknowledge why you’re removing the food from your diet (if you choose to do so).

Unless the consequences of consuming the food or drink are severe, we can certainly continue making the same food choices. And I see this ALL the time, even with myself! Sometimes I just want some of the real ice cream, not the vegan version. I pay the price, for sure, but I know what’s coming, accept the consequences, experience the discomfort, and then don’t make that choice again for a long time. I make the decision to consume dairy and lactose in servings greater than a few bites only when I feel that it’s really worth it.

For others, consuming foods and drinks they know they don’t tolerate is a daily occurrence. This is usually due to the following:

• Being disconnected from our bodies: While the connections between specific foods and our bodies can be obvious to those of us who spend our time and energy managing our physical well-being, for others who aren’t interested in or knowledgeable about how to feel their best, it’s difficult to draw the connection between the food or drink and the physical discomfort.
• Simply not caring: this tends to be the more common one, as many people are just not willing to give up their gluten, dairy, or any food that makes them feel like shit in the interest of feeling better. The issue here tends to be a question of why they don’t feel motivated to show up in the world as the best version of themselves and/or treat their bodies with respect consistently, and until that is addressed, things likely won’t change.

For those of us who do care about feeling our best and are subject to food intolerances to any degree, it’s important to remember why we’re deciding not to consume these foods or drinks. Rather than removing foods as a product of self-hatred, hustling for a better body, or as a method of control, we can choose not to consume them in order to show up more fully as ourselves. It’s a completely different narrative; one that is empowering rather than inhibiting. When treating ourselves with respect and by putting our well-being at the forefront of our actions, it becomes really easy to make choices that best serve us. 

And if we do choose to consume these foods, we know that we’ve made choices that are not in the best interest of our physical bodies, but they may be in the best interest of our overall well-being at the time (i.e. enjoying a special cake you get a few times a year or a shared experience with a loved one). The more we practice integrating foods and drinks that may not make us feel our best, the better we’ll become at discerning when it is or isn’t worth it. Nothing that involves our relationships with food or our bodies is linear, so don’t be afraid to experiment, gather data, and adjust next time.

While food intolerances are not ideal nor enjoyable, they can serve as a gateway for becoming more in tune with our bodies. And consider questioning their validity as they relate to your own body, as they may be a product of hidden food fears similar to myself.  It’s all a learning process! One that only makes us more knowledgeable and self-aware along the way if we allow it.

Alcohol - It Really Can be Part of a Healthy Lifestyle

I’ve gone into detail about my journey and relationship with alcohol here, and you’ll see that I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs with this popular party drug. I still love wine and tequila, and I consume them regularly. I believe they can find their way into a healthy lifestyle, even when losing weight is the goal. Am I going to say it’s healthy? Maybe. We know it’s not physically healthy for us (you can get your antioxidants elsewhere, ok?), but imbibing in a balanced way can actually be health promoting.

How can something that’s essentially poison be healthy? Because oftentimes the stress of abstaining from it for the sake of weight loss leads to an unhealthy mindset, in addition to subsequent unhealthy behaviors. For example, I used to vow to not drink any booze after a bender of a weekend, and then the only thing I could think of was having a drink. Similar to struggles with eliminating a “forbidden” food. It only makes you obsess about said thing. This comes with the obvious caveats of actually enjoying alcohol, not having issues with addiction, and not using it as a crutch for any number of underlying issues.

In addition to the unhealthy behaviors that can accompany completely abstaining from alcohol, having a drink or two can actually be a great way for some people to relax or enjoy time with loved ones. Do we NEED it? No. We don’t need many aspects of our modern lifestyle today, but they can add to our joy and fulfillment in a positive and balanced way. I thoroughly enjoy having a drink with my family when I’m home catching up, while out with friends, and even while at home alone.

This all occurs when the following criteria are met:

1. I actually want a drink: This is similar to mindlessly eating processed foods that aren’t going to make us feel great, oftentimes because they’re simply available. I always ask myself, “Do I actually want a drink, or am I just having one because everyone else is? Or because it’s right in front of me?” It took me a while to determine the differences, and I usually didn’t know until halfway through the drink. Don’t listen to what anyone else says. I promise it’s ok to leave an unfinished drink on the table.
2. I’m not drinking to suppress an unpleasant emotion: this kind of drinking never feels good, especially the next day. Not only do we feel physically unwell, but our emotions are even more unstable than they were to begin with.  Drinking in response to discomfort doesn’t allow us to address the root causes of our feelings, so they will only intensify in time. Face that shit, then have a drink.  This also includes boredom. It happens to many of us on occasion, but if it’s a recurring theme, it’s time to find some more valuable ways to spend time.
3. Not using it as a social lubricant: This was a big one for me in my early to mid-20s, as I had essentially been socializing drunk for the previous seven years. As a result, I wasn’t comfortable entering a social situation without a buzz, and if I did happen to arrive sober, I was drunk within the hour to stifle my social anxiety. Overcoming this took some time, but I slowly became comfortable with sober socializing, and it’s definitely my preference now. I find being buzzed or drunk only enjoyable in the company of friends and family.

Once I have checked the boxes on the above, then I assess the environment I’m in and mindfully choose my plan of action. I typically find myself in one of the following situations:

• An environment where everyone is having just a drink or two, so I don’t need to overthink my drinking. Everyone is on the same page, and it’s a relaxed atmosphere, so I can easily have one or two drinks without giving it a second thought.
• An environment where everyone is drinking to party and get drunk, and I only want a few drinks or none at all. This takes some more conscious effort, as it’s easy to get carried away when we really don’t want to or to succumb to peer pressure. It’s best to walk into these situations with a game plan and stick to it. Two or three drinks (that’s pushing it with a potential hangover for me), and I call it. Club soda with lime is a lovely way to feel like I’m drinking something more fun than water, and it also reduces the likelihood of someone harassing me for not drinking. It’s unfortunate that people still do that, and I don’t lie about it if I’m asked, but I’m ok with consciously mitigating those instances when I can.
• An environment where everyone is drinking to party and get drunk, and I’m on board. This doesn’t happen very often, but sometimes the mood strikes or it’s a special occasion and I’m all in.  I go into these situations with the expectation that I’m going to drink more than I know is physically ideal, and then my hangover the next day is MUCH easier to accept.  Having this happen so sparingly is also important for not berating myself the next day. It’s not part of an abusive cycle; it’s simply a fun, rare night out.

“Know thyself”

-  Socrates

In addition to drinking for positive reasons and acknowledging and adjusting to our environments, we also need to understand how alcohol affects us individually. Once we do, we can act in alignment as often as possible to ensure we minimize the negative effects, both physically and mentally. 

The next time you enjoy a cocktail or your beverage of choice, bring awareness to the following:

• Eating before: This is a huge one for me, as it is for many people. If I don’t eat before drinking, my stomach hurts, I get a buzz far more quickly than I would like (and far more quickly than anyone around me), and I feel like shit the next day without fail. Even if it’s just one or two drinks. If I’m out at a restaurant as opposed to a bar, then I pace my drinking with my eating to ensure I don’t get ahead of myself. Loading up on high-volume foods that are more satiating, like protein and vegetables, is helpful. Eating before drinking or pacing my drinking in accordance with my eating is a non-negotiable for me, and if I’m going to be out all day, I’ll bring a snack with me just in case. 
• Effects on hunger and cravings: Drunk eating is a common effect of imbibing, but some are immediately drawn to foods they wouldn’t normally eat once they’ve had a drink or two. For me, this only happens when I haven’t eaten or paced appropriately as noted above. For others, light drinking actually suppresses hunger and cravings. It’s important to know which one you are and to adjust accordingly. Don’t use a buzz as an excuse to go off the rails and treat your body poorly! If you’re eating moderately the rest of the time and aren’t restricting, then this urge will be greatly reduced, but bringing mindfulness to the situation is always necessary. And if you do end up going overboard on food, either with poor quality or excessive quantity, please don’t beat yourself up. On top of a hangover, self-loathing is the last thing we need. It’s just one day/night!
• Water consumption: This is a given for most of us, as we’re taught this from a young age, but it’s easy to forget about drinking water when we’re busy socializing. I aim for one tall glass of water between each drink, and it makes a huge difference in how I feel the next day. It also slows down our consumption of alcohol, so it’s a win-win!
• State of Mindfulness: Acknowledge your environment, your hunger levels, and play the situation out in your head. Don’t bury your head in the sand (or your drinks, in this case) and mindlessly consume things you won’t feel great about afterwards. If you want to do so consciously, then great! But don’t check out. I promise you’ll wake up feeling much better if you made your choices consciously, even if you have a hangover and ate more than your body was asking for. This applies to hungover eating as well.  I used to overeat processed foods excessively when hungover without any sense of consciousness, and the minute I decided to bring awareness to my hangovers, those poor choices were drastically reduced.

The last point is the most important piece of the boozing puzzle. Bringing awareness to how alcohol affects us physically and mentally, how we manage various drinking environments, and our state of mind during and after imbibing is crucial for developing a healthy and malleable relationship with alcohol.  And while finding out what works best for each of us individually takes some time, it’s so worth it. I no longer stress about how I’m going to manage a night out when I don’t want to drink, I know how to minimize the physical and emotional side effects, and most importantly, I now respond with kindness towards myself rather than with negative self-talk when I do overdo it. We don’t have to be at war with alcohol in the same way we don’t with food.