Strategies for Healthy Eating While Traveling

With the holidays rapidly approaching, travel is inevitable for many of us. And with travel we often feel stressed, out of our routines, and surrounded by a lack of healthy options.  There is certainly something to be said for going with the flow while on vacation or even traveling for work, but we also want to feel great. Who wants to be on vacation or be working out of town while simultaneously feeling like crap?  I sure don’t, and I don’t know many people who do.  The foundation for continuing our healthy habits essentially comes down to focusing on our “why” behind why we do what we do. For me, I want to maintain my healthy habits (for the most part) so that I’m able to show up fully emotionally and physically with my family and friends and to be able to partake in physical adventures. For those who travel for work, your “why” may be so you’re able to show up with your best performance and contribution, or perhaps it’s maintaining a stable foundation of feeling well while you’re out of your routine. Whatever our reasons, we need to become clear on them.

Once our foundations have been laid through becoming clear on why we want to maintain healthy habits, we can implement more tactical strategies.

1.     Do Your Research – Unless you’re traveling out of the country and you’ll really be immersing yourself in a new culture (which I fully support and abide by), then I highly recommend doing some research on healthy options near the location you’ll be staying or working.  I believe in leaving room for spontaneity and new experiences, including food, but also be prepared with healthy options.  I’m a huge fan of Whole Foods for prepared foods and hot bar items, so that’s typically the first place I look for. As a foodie, I also love trying unique places I can’t find anywhere else, so I will look at those second.  Some cities and town are more focused on healthy options than others, so the goal here is to simply do our best, not to be perfect.  Other great choices are chain restaurants with customizable options, like Chipotle. If the only reasonably close options are fast food restaurants, then you’ll know in advance that you may need to pack more snacks.

2.     All About the Snacks – before I leave on any trip, especially those on which I know healthy options won’t be readily available (i.e. small or remote towns, road trips), I make a run to the store and stock up on snacks I know will make me feel great, or at the very least won’t make me feel as awful as fast food will. Most snack items tend to be laden with sugar and fat while low on protein, and these don’t make me feel great in excess. Therefore, I focus on options with more protein with a few of the carb/fat laden choices mixed in.

• Some of my favorites protein options include beef or turkey jerky, Tanka buffalo bites, and deli meat (if there is access to refrigeration)
• Other snacks typically include larabars, RX bars, Justin's nut butter packets, and fruit

3.     Structure Most of Your Meals – As I mentioned in point number one, I fully support being spontaneous, especially if the location, culture, or food is unique or special. However, using that as a reason to constantly eat things that will make us feel terrible doesn’t do us any favors. Especially if we’re traveling for an extended period of time. So, when eating out at restaurants, structure most of your meals similarly to how you do when you’re at home. For me, that means a serving of protein (usually meat), a vegetable, a starch, and I usually get my fat through the cooking oils and/or meat. This is especially true to restaurant meals, as then tend to be heavy handed with oils. There may not be options on the menu that are structured in this way, so asking for modifications will be required in that case. Creating structure around most of your meals (i.e. discipline) will actually create more freedom for you to make less healthy choices sporadically. Discipline equals freedom.

4.     Don’t Strive for Perfection – I can’t provide a detailed plan of eating for anyone, as that goes against what I believe is a healthy (physically and emotionally) and sustainable approach.  And I hope you’re not looking for one. Just as striving for “perfect eating,” back home will backfire, it also will while traveling. If anything, you need to give yourself even more leeway while on the road, not less.

Traveling isn’t always an enjoyable activity, usually when it’s being forced upon us for work (or perhaps family?), but we can always make the best of any situation. There’s no need to stress about eating perfectly or working out every day, but I do want you to put your well-being first. If your energy or mood start to tank, your sleep quality is declining, or you’re experiencing any other form of feeling unwell, then audit your food choices and see where you can make small improvements. Because it’s worth a little bit of extra effort to feel our best.

How to Navigate the Holidays without Stressing About Your Body

The holidays are one of my favorite times of the year. I’m able to see my extended and immediate family who I don’t see often, and everyone is typically in a relaxed and jovial mood.  To me, this season is about quality time (my love language, if you’re familiar with the quiz) with some of my favorite humans, but it wasn’t always that way. I formerly used my Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s holiday breaks as opportunities to eat and drink with abandon. That’s just what you do, right?!  This would leave me with intense anxiety and guilt throughout the entire season, in addition to the months following.

Understandably, the holidays can be a major source of stress for some of us. And if we haven’t developed healthy coping mechanisms, then eating and drinking to excess might alleviate this discomfort temporarily, only to leave us worse off once the season is over by feeling physically and emotionally unwell. Whatever our reason for going off the rails over the holidays (i.e. family drama, finances, relationships, old habits) it’s a futile attempt at solving the root cause and it never results in a positive or fulfilling ending.  Why do we continue to do it, then?

In my experience, it boils down to a few things:

1.     We aren’t aware of an alternative: If we’ve only ever navigated the holidays by going overboard the entire time and subsequently beating ourselves up, and everyone around us acts similarly, then chances are that we haven’t considered an alternative. When we’re surrounded by people who think and act alike, it’s much more difficult to be aware of other options, let alone choose a different path. Consider this your notification that there is, in fact, an alternative.

2.     We don’t know how to navigate the pushback and/or negativity from our family and friends: We may receive resistance from our loved ones (or the random tag-along we don’t know) if we’re opting for more healthy choices (i.e. the popular, “come on, live a little!”), and it can often feel easier to simply succumb to the pressure than stand firm in doing what’s best for us. I remember feeling insecure and overwhelmed about the comments I would receive because I didn’t partake in eating all of my dessert during on Thanksgiving, so much so that I would eat it just to shut everyone up.  Once I learned how to use my words and communicate directly, I started to enjoy a few bites (the amount I really wanted that wouldn’t make me feel awful afterwards) and relayed that I just didn’t want the whole damn pie.  I actually presented my perspective in a much politer tone (**hostility doesn’t usually work here), and that was the end of it. The initial resistance wears off after a few interactions once said pushers realize I’m going to do what I want in the end anyway. So stand firm in your decision!

3.     We approach each party/dinner with an “all-or-nothing” mentality: if we expect to arrive at Thanksgiving or a holiday party and not partake in any booze, dessert, stuffing, (insert favorite unhealthy food here), we’re kidding ourselves. And we’re also setting ourselves up for failure. The idea is to participate and enjoy our favorite foods without going overboard. I recommend choosing a few of your less-than-ideal favorites before you or the guests arrive and choosing to forgo the rest. For me, I prefer to have wine, small servings of the savory and calorie dense foods (i.e. stuffing and green bean casserole), and a small serving of the dessert while filling up on protein and veggies. This means I forgo the bread, most of the appetizers, and huge servings of dessert. Using this approach, I don’t feel deprived at all, but I also don’t feel like shit.

4.     We simply don’t have enough practice in implementing moderation, so we let one perceived misstep ruin our long-term goals: This is a huge one for most people, typically as a result of not utilizing the awareness and strategies described in step three. Or simply not enough practice with either of these. It took me MANY parties and holiday seasons to nail down a consistent practice with moderation, and I had several missteps along the way.  However, I never used one meal of feeling overly full or one day of going off the rails as an excuse to throw my well-being and practice of awareness out the window. We can make the decision to take a better approach at any moment, and beating ourselves up does nothing. Literally nothing.

For some, taking a moderate approach to eating and drinking throughout the holidays is boring and uneventful. To me, this comes down to what one values throughout the season. If someone uses it as an opportunity to indulge in excess, materially or with food/booze, then this entire concept will prove unappealing. However, if one wants to be able to be fully present with their family and friends throughout the next two months without stressing about gaining weight or feeling terrible, I highly recommend considering a middle of the road approach. Moderation isn’t sexy, but it works.

Booze - The Ultimate Love/Hate Relationship

For many of us without an addiction to alcohol, the problem isn’t actually the alcohol but rather the underlying reason we feel the need to overdo it. Similar to why many of us abuse food and/or body obsession. My relationship with alcohol has been up and down since I entered college and binge drinking became a staple in my life, and it took me a long time to find peace with it. I have ping-ponged back and forth with extremes, but my current state of balance involves having a few drinks per week during most weeks, and a few times a year I drink more than I know is good for me.  Is this a healthy choice?  No, alcohol in general isn’t healthy, but there are times that I truly find the process of going overboard and letting loose a good time. And this is a conscious choice, rather than something I feel the need to do. Let me explain what I mean by this and how I arrived here.

I started drinking in high school with my siblings and friends, unbeknownst to my parents of course, but the really heavy drinking didn’t start until college.  It was a time when I was meeting new people, figuring out who I was, enjoying new experiences, and alcohol was a buffer for all of this.  I never really stopped to consider not partaking in it, as it was just “what you did” in college. And I had a lot of fun with it most of the time! But I also had a lot of negative experiences as a result, including blacking out and making poor decisions I was embarrassed about the next morning. Talk about anxiety inducing. This wasn’t just my experience, as everyone I surrounded myself with did the same thing, so once again, I felt that it was just part of the gig.

By the end of my senior year, I was truly burned out from all of the partying. Because of this, it wasn’t difficult for me to move in with my parents back home for a few months while I studied for a big exam, as I was so ready for a calmer lifestyle.  Interestingly, it was during this summer that I realized I had a real love for red wine and would enjoy some almost every night with my dad. We’re talking one glass a night, and maybe two on the weekends.  It was such a liberating feeling to have just one drink and not feel like I was white knuckling it the entire time. I was drinking it because I enjoyed the taste, ritual, and time with my family, not because I needed to feel more comfortable with myself, lack of boundaries, or to escape an aspect of my life.  If I had previously wanted to cut back and only have one or two drinks, it would have felt next to impossible due to social pressures and my own discomfort, and I would have inevitably overdone it.

By the end of that summer, I felt as though I had developed a rock-solid relationship with alcohol and really had it all figured out.  Welp, I was wrong. I moved to Denver with a few of my college friends, and I once again found myself back in the party game. I was in a job I didn’t like working really long hours, so when the weekends rolled around, I went all out with my drinking.  Looking back, I made some amazing friends during this time and don’t regret it at all, but I also knew that I wasn’t really happy deep down. And I truly believe that was the reason I felt the need to have a drink in my hand at all times.  (It’s no surprise that my relationship with food and my body moved in tandem with my relationship with alcohol).  I didn’t consider the notion that meditation, being out in nature, travel, spending quality time with friends, or other sober activities would actually serve me in a much more positive and fulfilling way than drinking or my food/body obsession ever could.

The uneasiness with my drinking and lifestyle was growing quickly, and I didn’t know how to escape the life and environment I had become so accustomed to. As a result, decided I was going to quit my job at the end of 2013 and travel abroad for a few months. Three of my friends joined me, and to my relief, we barely drank the entire time we were in SE Asia.  This would have NEVER happened even one year before. Little did I know that all of them were also looking for a way out of that lifestyle; we just didn’t have the strength or know-how to do it in our usual environments. In fact, one of them had recently started a sober lifestyle that she continues to this day.  It seems a little ridiculous to say that we had to travel across the world to find a way out of our unhealthy habits, but sometimes we need to completely remove ourselves from our usual environments to create space for ourselves. This allowed me to see myself and my life through a neutral lens, and there was no escaping the conclusion that I didn’t like what I saw.

When I returned home to the US, I was doubtful of my ability to hold steady with my new drinking habits and what I wanted them to look like when I arrived back in Denver. Would my friends still want to hang out with me? If not, does that mean they didn’t really like me for me? Would I fall back into my old patterns? What would I do with all of my free time if I’m wasn’t drinking?  That last one is a little difficult to write, but it was such a serious concern at the time. So much of my identity in the States was wrapped up in heavy drinking that I couldn’t conceptualize my life without it. And I hadn’t taken the time to consider what I actually enjoyed in life outside of it.

I was really insecure about my choices when I returned to my social circle in Denver, and I even felt this way around my siblings and extended family. I was known as the girl who was always up for a party, even by my own definition, so they weren’t quite sure what to make of my new lifestyle. In fact, I was so unsure about how to navigate my new lifestyle that I felt as though I had to remove myself from my old one completely.  I really needed to surround myself with people who were seeking a similar path, and this wasn’t because my friends and family were doing anything wrong. It was because I wasn’t secure enough in who I was or my choices.  It felt as though my new energy and motivations were so raw and vulnerable that I had to protect them until they were solidified (i.e. I wasn’t comfortable in my choices yet). I wish I had known how to articulate this to people in my life at the time, but I barely understood what was happening myself. All I knew was that I needed out.

As I removed myself from my party lifestyle, I spent a lot of time alone, in nature, and with very close friends. It was exactly what I needed for myself until I was able to draw boundaries, and once I was stable in what I wanted for myself and what I needed from others, I was ready to branch out again. I made new friends and connected with old ones, and most of my former stress about drinking had dissipated. I was now able to be social while only have one drink, leave parties early, confidently tell others that I wasn’t drinking that night, or do whatever I needed to do for myself at the time. However, I still struggled with the times I did have a few drinks too many (meaning I had a hangover).  Did this mean I wasn’t being true to myself again? Did this mean I was slipping back into old patterns? These were the questions I asked myself.

I sat with these questions for a long time, and I realized that my relationship with alcohol is exactly as I treat my relationship with food and exercise.  It’s one that I get to define, and as long as my emotional and physical health are at the forefront consistently, then consciously making the choice to go overboard now and then is perfectly fine for ME.  The key differentiator between my choice to overdo it previously vs. now is the fact that it’s a conscious decision I’m making. It’s never something I feel the need to do, and I don’t feel like someone or something else is making the decision for me. As a result, I no longer beat myself up about it the next day, and that in itself has been a huge relief.

I learned quite a few things about myself as I navigated my complicated relationship with alcohol, and my hope is that these can be beneficial to others who are struggling with their own.

1.     Be Open and Honest: Be open and honest about your desire to change your habits with friends and family and explain why the change is important to you. I failed miserably with this one, and it made things much more difficult. I was a very poor communicator at that time, and I didn’t think others would hold space for what I was feeling. Who am I to make that decision? I should have given them all of the information and then allowed them to respond accordingly. This of course leaves two options in regards to their responses: being supportive or being unsupportive.

2.     Audit your Social Circle and Support System: After explaining why you’re making a change, if they’re still not supportive of your decisions, then distance may be necessary. People often criticize those who are making choices in the interest of improving themselves, because it highlights the fact that they may not be doing the same. Essentially, they’re projecting their insecurity onto you**.  Discovering that some of our relationships are conditional (i.e. they only support us when we’re doing what they want us to do) can be really hurtful, but distancing ourselves or removing these relationships entirely creates space for new, positive and supportive ones.

**I can identify this so easily now with new people I meet.  If I’m in a situation where most people are drinking heavily and I’m not drinking or am only having one or two, I receive negative comments from the people who are insecure about how much they are drinking.  Those who are secure in their own choices never harass or criticize me, and those are the people I want to surround myself with! 

3.     Engage in Positive Activities: As I mentioned earlier, I really didn’t know what I enjoyed to do outside of partying and drinking. Sure, I went to the mountains to ski or go camping, but I started to dread those trips because I knew binge drinking was going to be a huge part of them. I had to learn how to enjoy those things without excessive amounts of alcohol or none at all. Additionally, I had a TON of time on my hands now that I wasn’t out at the bars until 2am and subsequently useless the next day with a hangover.  I started spending more time in nature by hiking, skiing, and camping, and I enjoyed more quality time with friends in town.  I even started working out on the weekends, as I was no longer feeling like death. (huge win!) This is one of the biggest reasons I wanted to stop drinking so heavily – I didn’t want to continue wasting my life away being drunk or hungover.

4.     Don’t judge others for their choices. I was guilty of this in the beginning, for sure, and this was most certainly due to my own insecurity with my choices. Due to not adhering to suggestion number one above, I reacted defensively to negative comments and developed a “high horse” attitude. “If they’re going to criticize my choices, then I’m going to criticize theirs.” Really mature, I know. But just as we deserve unconditional support from my friends and family, they deserve the same. We’re all on our own paths, and I’m certainly not in a place to tell anyone else how they should be living their lives. If they’re happy, then I’m happy (barring any serious addiction/issue here, of course). I now have friendships with people who drink heavily, and neither of us criticize the other for our choices. I truly never thought that was possible.

5.     My relationship with alcohol directly translated to my relationship with my body. I don’t believe the alcohol was the cause here, but I was mistreating my body via booze and food due to unhappiness, living in an inauthentic manner, and a negative self-image. When I realized I had the power to create the life I wanted and to show up as I am, my entire world changed. And my relationships with alcohol and food followed suit as I described here.

There are a lot of things I could have done differently as I navigated and continue to navigate my ever-changing relationship with alcohol, but I have learned a hell of a lot in the process. And I’m grateful for all of the lessons. It taught me to stand up for myself and create boundaries, to be open and honest with loved ones, to give others the benefit of the doubt, to accept myself and others right where we are, to create space for myself and others to grow and evolve, and that it’s OK to put myself first and do what’s best for me, despite what others might think. I certainly don’t have all of the answers, but I’m so happy I decided to finally make a change for myself.

It's Never About the Food

Me and my travel buddy best friend in thailand in 2014

We all have a different story that brought us to a negative and unhealthy relationship with food, exercise, or body image, and uncovering the roots of where these attitudes are born is KEY in making a shift.  My relationship with food, exercise, and my body has changed in direct congruence with perceived amount of control I had over my life, my happiness, and how authentically I was living at the time. This didn’t become clear to me until I reflected on the times when I naturally ceased to obsess about food and exercise and treated my body with a new level of respect and care. To explain how I arrived at this conclusion, I'll walk you through my evolution.

As a teenager, controlling my food intake and exercise regimen provided me with a sense of control.  I was insecure and overwhelmed, so obsessing about my appearance, food, and exercise was my outlet.  In college, I again turned to obsessive behaviors about food and exercise because I felt a huge lack of control and balance in my life, and I didn’t feel as though the extreme nature of my drinking was making me happy (this didn’t stop me, however, so it stayed with me through the duration of college).  During the first few months post-college, when I was studying for my CPA exam at home in Albuquerque, NM, it was the first time I implemented a daily meditation practice and really focused on my personal development. Naturally, my eating habit regulated. I never overate, only ate when hungry, and I focused on movement over exercise.   When I returned to Denver, my partying lifestyle resurfaced, and I once again used controlling food and exercise as a way to try to find balance.

When I quit my first corporate job in public accounting and decided to backpack with girlfriends in Southeast Asia for several months, it was the first time I took a step towards creating the life that I wanted. My inclination to control my food and have a strict exercise regimen melted away just as it had when I was living at home after college.  When I returned home, I reflected on how my relationship with food and exercise had ebbed and flowed throughout my life at that point, and I was searching for the common threads.  It became clear that obsessing about food and exercise was both a coping and control mechanism, and I turned to unhealthy behaviors during times when I wasn’t living an authentic or balanced life.  Presently, I can sense when something is out of alignment in my life, because my mind will return to those negative and unhealthy thought patterns.  It’s a crystal-clear sign that I need to do some internal work when this happens.

Our relationships with food, exercise, and body image are often a reflection of misalignment within.  If we’re not living a life that is authentic to us and are searching for happiness outside of ourselves, we will rely on a form of escapism.  For me and so many women, this is an obsession with food and exercise, but it can manifest as overeating, binge watching TV frequently, excessive drinking, drugs, dependency on others, etc.  When we feel the desire to reach for these, it’s an opportunity, a calling even, to uncover what is truly making us unhappy.  Once we determine what that is, we usually have two options: change our actions/situation or change our attitude/perception.  For example, when I realized I was miserable in my public accounting job, I wasn’t able to leave right away, but I decided to start saving money and made a plan to quit and travel internationally by the end of the year.  And in the meantime, I enjoyed the relationships I developed at work and continued to put my best foot forward. I made a plan to change my situation and actively monitored my attitude at the same time.

Our negative relationships with food, exercise, and body image can be great teachers if we let them, but we have to be willing to take responsibility for our situation and put in the hard work.  Looking within to identify the root cause isn’t always easy, but it is SO worth it. We can’t solve our internal struggles with external solutions.  So, where do we begin if we’re not quite sure where these thoughts and feelings are coming from?

1.     Journal.

Start by asking yourself questions related to your thoughts patterns and habits. If you’re struggling with body image, what are you hoping to gain when you obtain the “perfect body”? Is it admiration and approval from others? If you have an obsessive relationship with food, in what situations do you feel most tempted to restrict or obsess about your food intake and what are the related emotions? If you struggle with overeating, excessive drinking, or always reaching for foods that are terrible for you, what feelings are you running from or trying to solve by reaching for food, excessive booze, overeating, binging, etc.? If you tend to over-exercise, are you using this as a coping mechanism for feelings you’re avoiding, even when you know it’s just harming your body more? Or are you using it as a control mechanism?

2.     Witness Without Judgment.

Allow the answers to these questions be a stream of consciousness and see what comes up **without judgment***. This part is extremely important!  I remember coming face to face with feelings I had been suppressing for a long time, and it was overwhelming in the beginning. This is a constant practice for me when I uncover subconscious feelings, and I find it really comforting to know that this is just a normal part of any healing process.  But we need to continue to call this shit out, as uncomfortable as it may be.

3.     Consciously Choose New Thought Patterns and Behaviors.

Now that we have identified the feelings, thoughts, and/or situations that are manifesting as poor body image or negative relationships with food or exercise, we need to decide what actions or changes to our thoughts we can make to remedy the root cause. For example, if I have determined that I don’t like my body because I’m worried about not being good enough in the eyes of other people, then I will list out all of the qualities about myself that I like that have nothing to do with my appearance.  Celebrate these! I will also list out the qualities of myself that I’m not particularly fond of (still, nothing to do with appearance) and select one to work on. I HIGHLY recommend you choose one action or thought pattern to work on at a time, as this exercise can quickly become overwhelming and you may be tempted to throw in the towel before you really begin.

It’s also tempting to use the results of this exercise as a reason to berate yourself even more, and I’ve been there. However, every single one of us has things we need to work on to better ourselves, and I don’t believe this process ever ends. So, doing this work from a forgiving and loving place makes the process infinitely more enjoyable.

What does this look like in practice? When I was traveling in Asia, I really had to come to terms with my internal struggles and how they were manifesting through issues with my body.  I journaled my ass off and realized that I didn’t have healthy emotional boundaries with many (if any) people in my life (a root cause).  This lack of boundaries created emotional chaos for me and I felt like I always had to prove my worth in relationships. As a result, I was trying to control everything about my diet and exercise routine to allow for some form of consistency in my life, and I also thought I would finally feel worthy if I looked perfect. An internal struggle I was trying to solve with external means. I decided to read as much as I could get my hands on about creating healthy boundaries (this article was a huge help), and I slowly started creating boundaries with people in my life. It was uncomfortable at first, to be sure, but I started to feel so much more secure in my relationship with myself, and therefore others, as a result.  This was just one piece of the puzzle I needed to work on at the time, but I noticed an immediate shift in my need to control my food and exercise.

Realizing our struggles with food, exercise, and how we view our bodies don't actually have anything to do with our bodies is simultaneously terrifying and liberating. We cling so tightly to our thought and behavioral patterns that the idea of letting them go can be really uncomfortable. However, there is also great freedom in realizing that we have the power to change these relationships and our reality by turning our attention inward and doing the work.  A friend once told me, as we discussed how overwhelmed we were by everything we needed to work on within ourselves, "Doing work on ourselves is the some of the most challenging work in life but also the most important and rewarding." I realize I'm only 28, but so far I agree. And I certainly believe this to be true when it comes to healing our relationships with food and our bodies.

I Get Meditation is Useful, but How Do I Do It?

I was speaking to a close friend last week about her anxiety and feeling out of control with her thoughts, and when I asked if she had tried meditation, she simply replied, “I just don’t get it. How do you observe your thoughts?”

This is such a fair question, and it’s one I had myself for a LONG time.  The concept didn’t make any sense to me until I started reading Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now.”  His story is pretty remarkable, as he was suicidal until it dawned on him that he is not his thoughts. And they’re actually the source of all of his pain.  Once he was able to detach from them and observe them for what they are, simply thoughts, then he was back in control.  The real him was in control (the observer) rather than the mind chatter, or the monkey brain.  Reading his story finally made the concept of being able to observe our own thoughts click for me, because it demonstrated its plausibility.

Being open to the idea of not being our thoughts is the first step.  If we’re resistant to this idea, then meditating, journaling, or practicing self-awareness throughout our days is going to prove fruitless.  Once we’re open to the concept, we can then begin the practice of meditation and do some experimentation to find what works best for each of us.

Currently, I really enjoy purely silent meditation, where I begin by focusing on my breath, and as I notice my thoughts, I bring my awareness back to my breath. Note that my mind can wander for quite some time before I catch this, but that’s not the important part. The important part is that I observe this and then bring awareness back to what I (the observer) want to focus on, not the monkey brain.        

Below is a simple practice you can do anywhere, and I often come back to this breathing pattern throughout my day when I’m feeling overwhelmed or stressed.

• Set a timer for 5-20 minutes, depending on how much time you have.
• Start by sitting in a comfortable seat, either in a chair or on the ground. Sitting on a pillow can help maintain upright posture. Place the palms of your hands on your knees, facing up or down. Your back should be straight but not too tight, and be mindful of releasing tension in your jaw and neck.
• Through your nose, inhale for three seconds, hold for two seconds, exhale for three seconds, hold the exhale for one second. Continue this pattern for the remainder of the time while bringing your awareness back to your breath whenever you notice your mind has wandered.
• It’s normal and expected to be uncomfortable while sitting in stillness without any distractions, and this discomfort isn’t just physical. We’re conditioned to be constantly stimulated, so it can be helpful to expect mental discomfort to arise. Show yourself some grace and really commit to sitting in this practice for the entire duration. It will become easier with consistency.

Another great option is guided meditation, and there are several apps on the market now with different tones and styles.  I prefer the more simplistic ones with minimal talking, so “1 Giant Mind” is my current favorite, but other popular options are “Headspace” and “Calm.”  Try a few of them and find what works best for you. Many of these apps have challenges to encourage consistency, especially when just starting, which brings me to my final thoughts.

Consistency and showing ourselves grace via limited expectations throughout this process is extremely important. I recommend committing to consistent practice every day for at least one month before deciding meditation is not for you.  In addition to an open mind, a lack of expectations is also important. You can’t expect to reach Nirvana and be like Buddha within a lifetime, let alone one month, without being sorely disappointed and frustrated.  Similar to any other healthy habit, it takes time to see notice the changes and requires some stick-to-it-iveness to really reap the benefits.

Be sure to let me know what comes up for you as you commit to this practice!

What Is Your Why? And Why It's Important to Know

I was introduced to Simon Senek and his book, “Start with Why,” by my dad a few years ago, and after completing a 1:1 evaluation, mine was pretty clear: “Trust – to create relationships based on trust.”  Most of us can go through the motions in life without understanding the “why” behind our actions for a short period of time, but confusion and a lack of motivation usually set in.  This is especially true when it comes to living a healthy lifestyle.

Understanding our “why” on a deep level allows us to sustain our healthy habits in the long run, and it makes the process WAY more enjoyable.  A shallow why, such as wanting to gain approval from others or become seemingly more attractive, is not only negative motivation, but it won’t last long either.  We need to go deeper to develop and sustain our habits for the long haul.  Why do I lead a healthy and balanced lifestyle?  It allows me to show up more fully in every part of my life. I.e. I can enjoy difficult mountain adventures, I’m able to lift and move things on my own, I can spend time with family and friends doing challenging activities, my mood is better so my relationships are stronger, my brain fires quickly so I perform better at work, and I have the energy to live life to the fullest.

Other examples might include having the ability to be active with your children, having the energy to work long hours and then spend time with family, being emotionally balanced and keeping anxiety at bay, and being able to show up more fully in every aspect of life with friends and family.  Become clear on why you want to make better choices for yourself, and you’ll quickly find that acting in the best interest of your own well-being becomes easier, and it will eventually become second nature if you’re continuously focusing on it. 

So, how does one discover their Why? Journaling. And time. Ask yourself why you want to make healthy changes a part of your lifestyle and not just a 30-day challenge. Let the ideas and words flow onto the paper (or computer screen) without judgment.  When I initially did this exercise, most of my reasons were shallow (i.e. mostly focused on my appearance), and I immediately felt a wave of discouragement and judgment towards myself.  Don’t do this! And if you do, please realize it’s a very normal response and doesn’t warrant further negativity.  **This is excellent practice in observing your thoughts without judgment and letting them go.  Keep writing until you start to dive deeper, and ask yourself “why?” 4-5 times for each item listed to get more granular. 

For example, “I want to feel better in the gym.” Why? “So I’m able to push myself harder.” Why? “So I can improve my endurance and strength.”  Why? “So I’m able to complete strenuous activities with family and friends.” Why? “So I can continue to make amazing memories on adventures with my loved ones.”

Motivation driven by the ability to make amazing memories on adventures with loved ones is a much more stable and sustainable reason to make healthy choices than simply wanting to do feel better in the gym.  There is nothing wrong with the latter, but it likely won’t enable you to make this a lifestyle as opposed to a transient goal.  The transient goals are fine to have once you’re already clearly rooted in your deeper Why.

I often receive comments about being disciplined or “too responsible” when it comes to living a balanced lifestyle with my food, alcohol, exercise, and lifestyle choices, but it truly doesn’t require any white-knuckling or discipline.  I am so strongly anchored by why I live a healthy and balanced lifestyle that I don’t feel like my life is lacking in any way because of it.  In fact, I know I’m actively moving towards the life I want for myself as a result. If I hadn’t spent the time and energy to reflect on this, then I truly don’t believe I would be able to make the choices I do consistently from a stress-free foundation.

Give this exercise a whirl and feel free to share what comes up for you!

Meditation Gave Me Back My Power - It Can Do the Same for You

I became familiar with the concept of meditation after having a perceived panic attack in college. It could have very well been an intense hangover or a panic attack caused by a hangover, but nonetheless, I left during the middle of a class and went home to search for answers. I stumbled upon Eckhart Tolle and his explanation of consciousness, the idea that we are not actually our thoughts, and that we don’t have to fall victim to the thoughts we have. This was immediately comforting to me, as I had always identified so strongly with my thought patterns.  As I continued to review his articles, I discovered that he utilizes meditation as a method of detaching from thought patterns and subsequently changing them.  The goal, he said, was to become the observer.

That day, I completed my first guided meditation via a youtube video (I remember this first one so vividly), and the effects were immediate. I was calmer and felt a sense of peace from simply knowing that I had the ability to control my reactions to my thoughts, even though I hadn’t yet developed the skill. What I didn’t realize at the time was that this would be a lifelong process that would require me to choose a new way of thinking on a moment-to-moment basis, and it would essentially bring me to a place of being “awake,” for lack of a better term, after unknowingly living my life half asleep. Who knew I was able to play an active part in how I perceived my life, others, and myself?

When we identify so deeply with our thoughts, we believe the stories we have always told ourselves (i.e. I’m the victim, I’m not smart, she’s better than me, I’m not lovable, etc.) and don’t realize that these are simply thought patterns. And that thought patterns are malleable.  Meditation provided me with the awareness of these thought patterns, in addition to quiet space between these thoughts.  In this space, I was able to acknowledge the thoughts for what they were, simply thoughts, and actively choose how to react.  Slowly but surely, my thoughts had less power over me. In fact, I started to use them to my benefit by replacing the negative with positive, and the useless with the useful. For example, when I noticed thoughts that were picking apart my body, I paused, acknowledged the thoughts, forgave myself for having them, and I then chose to focus on something more productive.  Like the fact that my body supported me through years of binge drinking and eating shit, that it continues to allow me to complete difficult workouts, and simple acts like walking up and down the stairs.

Meditation gave me my power back, or rather, it allowed me to realize that I’ve always had the power to live the life I want.  I have a choice in how I show up in this world, especially when it comes to how I view and treat my body.  I don’t have to fall victim to old thought patterns about my body not being good enough, or skinny enough, or lean enough. And I don’t have to succumb to the thoughts that overanalyze food and categorize them as good or bad, or mindlessly eat when I’m not hungry and stuff myself when my body tells me it's had enough.  I certainly still have these thoughts, although less frequently, but I’m now able to acknowledge them and choose a different narrative.  And my narrative is one of compassion, responsibility, and empowerment in the treatment of myself and others.